11. Love for the Holy Father

…

“I’m not going to take my children,” announced my uncle, “nor present them before any tribunal. Why, they’re not old enough to be responsible for their actions, and besides all that, they could never stand the long journey on foot to Vila Nova de Ourém. I’ll go myself and see what they want.”

My father thought differently:

“As for my girl, I’m taking her! Let her answer for herself; I don’t understand a thing about this.”

They all took advantage of this occasion to frighten us in every way they could. Next day, as we were passing by my uncle’s house, my father had to wait a few minutes for my uncle. I ran to say goodbye to Jacinta, who was still in bed. Doubtful as to whether we would ever see one another again, I threw my arms around her. Bursting into tears, the poor child sobbed:

“If they kill you, tell them that Francisco and I are just the same as you, and that we want to die too. I’m going right now to the well with Francisco, and we’ll pray hard for you.”

When I got back at night fall, I ran to the well, and there were the pair of them on their knees, leaning over the side of the well, their heads buried in their hands, weeping bitterly. As soon as they saw me, they cried out in astonishment:

“You’ve come then? Why, your sister came here to draw water and told us that they’d killed you! We’ve been praying and crying so much for you!”

12. In Prison at Ourém

When, some time later, we were put in prison, what made Jacinta suffer most, was to feel that their parents had abandoned them. With tears streaming down her cheeks, she would say:

“Neither your parents nor mine have come to see us. They don’t bother about us any more!”

“Don’t cry,” said Francisco, “we can offer this to Jesus for sinners.”

Then, raising his eyes and hands to heaven, he made the offering:

“O my Jesus, this is for love of You, and for the conversion of sinners.”

Jacinta added:

“And also for the Holy Father, and in reparation for the sins committed against the Immaculate Heart of Mary.”

After being separated for awhile, we were reunited in one of the other rooms of the prison. When they told us they were coming soon to take us away to be fried alive, Jacinta went aside and stood by a window overlooking the cattle market. I thought at first that she was trying to distract her thoughts with the view, but I soon realized that she was crying. I went over and drew her close to me, asking her why she was crying:

“Because we are going to die,” she replied, “without ever seeing our parents again, not even our mothers!”

With tears running down her cheeks, she added:

“I would like at least to see my mother.”

“Don’t you want, then, to offer this sacrifice for the conversion of sinners?”

“I do want to, I do!”

With her face bathed in tears, she joined her hands, raised her eyes to heaven and made her offering:

“O my Jesus! This is for love of You, for the conversion of sinners, for the Holy Father, and in reparation for the sins committed against the Immaculate Heart of Mary!”

The prisoners who were present at this scene, sought to console us:

“But all you have to do,” they said, “is to tell the Administrator the secret! What does it matter whether the Lady wants you to or not!”

“Never!” was Jacinta’s vigorous reply, “I’d rather die.”

13. The Rosary in Jail

Next, we decided to say our Rosary. Jacinta took off a medal that she was wearing round her neck, and asked a prisoner to hang it up for her on a nail in the wall. Kneeling before this medal, we began to pray. The prisoners prayed with us, that is if they knew how to pray, but at least they were down on their knees. Once the Rosary was over, Jacinta went over to the window, and started crying again.

“Jacinta,” I asked, “don’t you want to offer this sacrifice to Our Lord?”

“Yes, I do, but I keep thinking about my mother, and I can’t help crying.”

As the Blessed Virgin had told us to offer our prayers and sacrifices also in reparation for the sins committed against the Immaculate Heart of Mary, we agreed that each of us would choose one of these intentions. One would offer for sinners, another for the Holy Father and yet another in reparation for the sins against the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Having decided on this, I told Jacinta to choose whichever intention she preferred.

“I’m making the offering for all the intentions, because I love them all.”

14. And Finally… the Dance

Among the prisoners, there was one who played the concertina. To divert our attention, he began to play and they all started singing. They asked us if we knew how to dance. We said we knew the ‘fandango’ and the ‘vira’. Jacinta’s partner was a poor thief who, finding her so tiny, picked her up and went on dancing with her in his arms! We only hope that Our Lady has had pity on his soul and converted him!

Now, Your Excellency will be saying: “What fine dispositions for martyrdom!” That is true. But we were only children and we didn’t think beyond this. Jacinta dearly loved dancing, and had a special aptitude for it. I remember how she was crying one day about one of her brothers who had gone to the war and was reported killed in action. To distract her, I arranged a little dance with two of her brothers. There was the poor child dancing away as she dried the tears that ran down her cheeks. Her fondness for dancing was such, that the sound of some shepherd playing his instrument was enough to set her dancing all by herself. In spite of this, when Carnival time or St. John’s Day festivities came round, she announced:

“I’m not going to dance any more.”

“And why not?”

“Because I want to offer this sacrifice to Our Lord.”

8. The Administrator’s Threats

Not many days later, our parents were notified to the effect that all three of us, Jacinta, Francisco and myself, together with our fathers, were to appear at a given hour on the following day before the Administration in Vila Nova de Ourém. This meant that we had to make a journey of about nine miles, a considerable distance for three small children. The only means of transport in those days was either our own two feet or to ride on a donkey. My uncle sent word right away to say that he would appear himself, but as for his children, he was not taking them.

“They’d never stand the trip on foot,” he said, “and not being used to riding, they could never manage to stay on the donkey. And any way, there’s no sense in bringing two children like that before a court.”

My parents thought the very opposite.

“My daughter is going. Let her answer for herself. As for me, I understand nothing of these things. If she’s Iying, it’s a good thing that she should be punished for it.”

Very early next morning^[1], they put me on a donkey and off I went, accompanied by my father and uncle. I fell off the donkey three times along the way. Ithink I have already toldYour Excellency how much Jacinta and Francisco suffered that day, thinking that I was going to be killed. As for me, what hurt me most, was the indifference shown me by my parents. This was all the more obvious, since I could see how affectionately my aunt and uncle treated their children. I remember thinking to myself as we went along:

“How different my parents are from my uncle and aunt. They risk themselves to defend their children, while my parents hand me over with the greatest indifference, and let them do what they like with me! But I must be patient,” I reminded myself in my inmost heart, “since this means I have the happiness of suffering more for love of You, O my God, and for the conversion of sinners.” This reflection never failed to bring me consolation.

At the Administration office, I was interrogated by the Administrator, in the presence of my father, my uncle and several other gentlemen who were strangers to me. The Administrator was determined to force me to reveal the secret and to promise him never again to retum to the Cova da Iria. To attain his end, he spared neither promises, nor even threats. Seeing that he was getting nowhere, he dismissed me, protesting however, that he would achieve his end, even if this meant that he had to take my life. He then strongly reprimanded my uncle for not having carried out his orders, and finally let us go home.

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^[1] The day was the 11 th of August.

11. Imprisonment at Ourém

Meanwhile the 13th day of August had dawned. Ever since the previous evening, crowds had been pouring in from all parts. They all wanted to see and question us, and recommend their petitions to us, so that we could transmit them to the most Holy Virgin. In the middle of all that crowd, we were like a ball in the hands of boys at play. We were pulled hither and thither, everyone asking us questions without giving us a chance to answer anybody. In the midst of all this commotion, an order came from the Administrator, telling me to go to my aunt’s house, where he was awaiting me. My father got the notification and it was he who took me there. When I arrived, he was in a room with my cousins. He interrogated us there, and made fresh attempts to force us to reveal the secret and to promise that we would not go back to the Cova da Iria. As he achieved nothing, he gave orders to my father and my uncle to take us to the parish priest’s house.

I will not delay now to tell Your Excellency about everything else that happened during our imprisonment, for you already know it all. As I have previously explained to Your Excellency, what I felt most deeply and what caused me most suffering on that occasion was my being completely abandoned by my family; and it was the same for my little cousins. After this journey or imprisonment, for I really don’t know what to call it, I returned home, as far as I can remember, on the 15th of August. To celebrate my arrival, they sent me right away to let out the sheep and take them off to pasture. My uncle and aunt wanted their children to stay with them at home, and therefore sent their brother John in their place. As it was already late, we stayed in the vicinity of our little hamlet, at a place called Valinhos^[1].

What happened next, is also known to Your Excellency; therefore I will not delay here to describe this either. Once again, the most Blessed Virgin recommended to us the practice of mortification, and ended by saying:

“Pray, pray very much, and make sacrifices for sinners; for many souls go to hell, because there are none to sacrifice themselves and to pray for them.”

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^[1] Lucia mentions here and also elsewhere, that the apparition occurred at Valinhos on August 15th, that is, on the day of her return from Vila Nova de Ourém. This is a mistake; the day of her return from Ourém was certainly the 15th of August, but the apparition occurred on the following Sunday, 19th of August, 1917.

8. Francisco in Prision

I have already described how Francisco spent the day praying and weeping, perhaps even more upset than I was, when my father received an order to present me before the Administrator at Vila Nova de Ourém^[1]. In prison, he was quite courageous, and tried to cheer up Jacinta when she felt most homesick. While we were saying the Rosary in prison, he noticed that one of the prisoners was on his knees with his cap still on his head. Francisco went up to him and said: “If you wish to pray, you should take your cap off.” Right away, the poor man handed it to him and he went over and put it on the bench on top of his own.

During Jacinta’s interrogation, he confided to me with boundless joy and peace: “If they kill us as they say, we’ll soon be in Heaven! How wonderful! Nothing else matters!” Then after a moment’s silence he added: “God grant that Jacinta won’t be afraid.

I’m going to say a Hail Mary for her!” He promptly removed his cap and prayed. The guard, seeing him praying, asked him:

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying a Hail Mary so that Jacinta won’t be afraid.”

The guard made a scornful gesture and let him go ahead.

One day, after our return from Vila Nova de Ourém, we began to be aware of the presence of the supernatural all around us, and to feel that we were about to receive some heavenly communication. Francisco at once showed his concern over Jacinta’s absence.

“What a pity it would be,” he exclaimed, “if Jacinta did not get here in time!”

He begged his brother to go quickly and get her, adding:

“Tell her to run here.”

After his brother had left us, Francisco said:

“Jacinta will be very sad if she doesn’t arrive in time.”

After the Apparition, his sister wanted to stay there the whole afternoon, so he said: “No! You must go home, because Mother didn’t let you come out with the sheep.” And to encourage her, he went back to the house with her.

In prison, when we noticed that it was already past midday, and that they would not let us go to the Cova da Iria, Francisco said:

“Perhaps Our Lady will come and appear to us here.”

On the following day, he could not hide his distress, and almost in tears, he said:

“Our Lady must have been very sad because we didn’t go to the Cova da Iria, and she won’t appear to us again. I would so love to see her!”

While in prison, Jacinta wept bitterly, for she was so homesick for her mother and all the family. Francisco tried to cheer her saying:

“Even if we never see our mother again, let’s be patient! We can offer it for the conversion of sinners. The worst thing would be if Our Lady never came back again! That is what hurts me most. But I offer this as well for sinners.”

Afterwards, he asked me:

“Tell me! Will Our Lady not come and appear to us any more?”

“I don’t know. I think she will.”

“I miss her so much!”

The Apparition at Valinhos was, therefore, a double joy for him. He had been tormented by the fear that she would never return. He told me later:

“Most likely, she didn’t appear on the 13th, so as to avoid going to the Administrator’s house, maybe because he is such a bad man.”

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^[1] On August 11th, Lucia was taken by her father to appear before the Administrator. Ti Marto, however, refused to take his children there.